this was more than likely POINTLESS considering NO ONE gives a damn about me and MY well-being (WHICH IS *NOT* WHAT'S MORE CONVENIENT FOR *YOU*)

i'm watching the vikings game now.. it's half-time. our defense is kicking ass as usual. i was curious for a second, so i went on facebook quickly. one of my grandma's friends, who i'm convinced doesn't like me at all- seems to be looking at my timeline. i thought she was dead. whatever, doesn't matter. i'm confused on why people who don't like other people- seem to monitor a person they don't like/agree with. i'm sure you have better things to do with your time. that's another reason why i'm moving out of this damn state- everyone that i grew up with seems so closeminded and naive and they don't give a shit that they're both- which makes them ignorant. i've actually found myself in better moods since i moved further and further away from where i started. if you seem to think i care that you have a problem with what i do- read a book or find something CONSTRUCTIVE to do. just because those dicks seem to enjoy their naivity and ignorance- does NOT mean i'm gonna think at the same levels as you dicks. misery loves company. there's another huge reason why i'm moving to another state. if you wanna be ignorant, close-minded dicks because that doesn't threaten your ego- so be it but i'm no longer wasting my time with that shit. this area doesn't have any opportunities for a person to be TRULY successful. i refuse to give up my goals and future JUST because my mom is a whiney-pretentious ignorant person. go whine to someone WHO CARES. my grandma's friends could CARE LESS about my well-being. go whine to someone else on the phone because if you REALLY cared- you'd be addressing the things you're whining about- which has to be you have a problem with me ACTUALLY living MY life- NOT YOURS. YOUR STUPID ASS DOESN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY CHOICES. you don't care about me. if you did- you would've apologized for being the cause of my past TWO surgeries on my abdominal organs since my mom thinks she can use ME as a damn SHIELD while being kicked by my dad. no wonder why i want to get the hell away from YOU. that's just another reason why i wanna get outta this damn state. i suppose it doesn't matter if you really think about it- it's not like my mom comes to see me ever but i've NEVER found interest in this close-minded NAIVE state. there aren't OPPORTUNITIES. and you don't give a fuck about me if you don't listen to my complaints and consider that i AM telling the truth. BUT GO PLEASE YOUR DAMN IN-LAWS AND GET THEM A CLIENT FOR THEIR SAD ASS USELESS EXCUSE OF A "REHABILITATION INSTITUTE". I'M NOT WASTING ANY MORE OF MY DAMN TIME AT SOME PLACE THAT PURPOSELY DOESN'T RECOGNIZE OR RESPECT ME AND MY GOALS (that includes MY POTENTIAL and ABILITIES just because they want a mindless client without advocacy so they can continue to take advantage of them so they can get paid to "help" them do EASY ASS SHIT which REALLY doesn't help). i know this will be hard for your ignorant ass- try putting YOURSELF in MY SHOES. FORGET ALL THE "BUT YOU'RE HANDICAP!" BULLSHIT- I WANT MORE THAN TO JUST WASTE MY DAMN TIME GOING EVERY DAMN DAY TO SOME STUPID PLACE THAT'S JUST UNENCOURAGING TO ANYONE WHO REALLY TRIES TO DO SOMETHING WITH THEIR LIVES. KEVIN (MY PREVIOUS THERAPIST AT THE COURAGE CENTER) FUCKIN TOLD ME NOT TO RETURN TO THE COURAGE CENTER IF I DIDN'T WALK WITH MY WALKER OR TREKKING POLES. THEY DON'T WANNA SEE ME PROGRESS. THEY JUST WANT MONEY. HOW FUCKIN STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE NOT TO SEE THAT?! MY ACCIDENT WAS OVER 23 FUCKING YEARS AGO. I'M DONE WITH THAT COURAGE KENNY/REHABILITATION BULLSHIT. if you wanna see someone go to the damn courage center, YOU waste your damn time there.. "oh but i don't have a TBI!" this is the time where i REALLY miss my grandma- because she ALWAYS used to tell me: "WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY!" i DON'T have the "will" to downgrade my potential and ability to just make my relatives who only pay attention to me at their own convenience or benefit seem like they ACTUALLY fucking CARE. MY GRANDMA USED TO TELL ME STRAIGHT OUT THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO TO THE COURAGE CENTER ANYMORE AFTER SHE DIED AND AMANDA WOULD "GET YOU TO NEW YORK!" BECAUSE I'D CRY JUST ABOUT EVERY NIGHT TO HER ON THE PHONE ABOUT HOW I WAS WASTING MY TIME- NOT GOING ANYWHERE IN LIFE JUST TO SATISFY PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE. nice.. a neice who doesn't do what their aunt says they'd do just because they're dead now. SUCH RESPECT FOR YOUR OWN AUNT! *rolls eyes* stfu. you pricks DON'T have to deal with the CONSEQUENCES of just being disabled and ssi dependant, THROWING AWAY ALL YOUR GOALS and completely disregarding ANY progress you've made your whole life. TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO- I DID NOT HAVE THE GOAL TO BE DEPENDANT ON SOCIAL FUCKING SECURITY OR TO EVEN LIVE IN THIS STATE. DOESN'T CONCERN YOUR SELFISH ASSES THOUGH! YOU'RE A COMPLETE MORON IF YOU CAN'T RECOGNIZE EXACTLY WHY I WANT TO MOVE. "i don't understand why you want to move! you have everything here!" NO AMANDA- YOU HAVE EVERYTHING HERE. I DON'T HAVE SUPPORT, LOVE, OR CARE FROM ANY OF MY SUPPOSED SOURCES OF "SUPPORT"... EXCEPT FROM JOE BUT IT'S NOT REALLY FAIR TO PILE THIS RESPONSIBILITY ON HIM WHEN HE WASN'T INTENDED ON BEING MY ADVOCATE. JUST ADMIT YOU'RE NOT AS FUCKING SMART AS YOU THINK YOU ARE AND ACTUALLY FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL ACTUALLY DO WHAT MY GRANDMA USED TO TELL ME YOU'D DO FOR ME EVERY FUCKING DAY TOWARDS THE END OF HER LIFE. I DID NOT BUST MY ASS IN REHAB. AND COLLEGE JUST TO REMAIN A CLOSE-MINDED UNEMPLOYED MINNESOTAN BUM ON SOCIAL SECURITY. you should work on your fuckin EMPATHY skills- empathy requires INTELLIGENCE. OH! BUT I READ TODAY THAT THE GRUMP ADMINISTRATION MADE LAWS TO REQUIRE PEOPLE WHO USE FOOD STAMPS TO WORK! I WON'T PERSONALLY HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THIS (EVEN THOUGH I'M CONVINCED EVERYONE UNDERESTIMATES ME AND THINK I'M TOO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE HAVING A TBI SOMEHOW=STUPID.. WAS STEPHEN HAWKING STUPID TOO?! HE WAS A FAMOUS PHYSICIST IN A WHEELCHAIR WHEN HE WAS ALIVE) *CLAPS* WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE TOO SLOW AND CAN'T READ?! RIGHT AMANDA?! YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE SUCH BIG GRUMP FANS. stick it. none of you asses have ANY form whatsoever of care OR empathy for vulnerable people. good luck in hell. good news is at least you'll have company. my mom is pretty much screwed though when it comes to these new ebt guidelines. the dumbass claims she can't read (although she doesn't seem to have a problem reading my blog) and she's NEVER been legally employed in her whole life. WHATEVER! NOT MY PROBLEM! YOU GOT THIS! am i doing that empty encouraging correctly, amanda?!